Educational Videos

I love how a lot of educational videos start off as if they're trying to sell you what they're teaching you about.

I have to watch this video for my online class:
Human Body Systems: The Circulatory System

It starts off talking about why we need the circulatory system, as if it's trying to get me to buy one.  And I'm like "But I already have one..." and they're like "Well good! Keep it!"

And I just sit there listening to them talk about how great the Circulatory System is because I'd feel bad if I told them I don't care and it hurt their feelings.

Eli Kind of Wins

Guys, I dated this guy once.  He sucked.  He sucked so much!  Like, he didn't even eat pie.  He doesn't like pie.  What kind of a person can you be if you don't eat pie?

Clearly not a good one.

Anyway, Eli came over for Thanksgiving today.  I asked him if he wanted pie.  He said sure.  I said "you do like pie, right?"

He said "No, I hate pie, and I'm an inhuman monster."

Kinda like that guy who didn't eat pie and basically was (and kinda still is) an inhuman monster!!

That statement basically made my day.

Thanksgiving!

I wrote another verse for a song my sister and I used to sing.  If you're my sister, you know the tune.  If you're not my sister, you will be so confused.

I think the song's called Ibuprofen.  At least that's what the first verse is about.


Hey guys!  Thanksgiving!
T-H-A-N-K-S-G-iving, GUYS!
Thanksgiving!
Let's eat and hug and sleep and eat more!

Other verses I remember are:

1. Ibuprofen

Ibuprofen,
I-B-U-P-R-O-F-E-N
Ibuprofen,
it stops the pain and stops the swelling.

2. Harry Potter
(This one's short)

Harry Potter
comes out tomorrow night at midnight

3. Christmas
(This one's short too)

It's almost Christmas!
C-H-R-I-S-T-M-A-S

YAAAAAAAAAAAY THANKSGIVING!

Eli's coming over tomorrow, and we're going to watch Star Wars.  Because I've never seen it.

...Please don't kill me, everyone.

SPOILER ALERT!

DOBBY DIES.

Now go see Harry Potter 7, fool.

Aurgh

Aurgh... Today was just one of those days.  You know, the kind where you spend the first half of the day walking around on shin splints instead of trying to make them better, then you sleep under a riser for a few hours, then you follow your boyfriend around like a lost puppy because you think that will make you feel better, but then really it just ends up making you feel more pitiful because people keep giving you these looks that say "you could do better" but you really couldn't do better—and that's not because you're not good enough, because you are.  It's because he really is great, but no one gets that.  You can't just jump up and tell them they're wrong, though, because no one seems to understand that he really is the best you could hope for.

(If you were directed here from Facebook, you know what I'm talking about.)

Dear Eli,

I love you.  That is all.

Love, me.

Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys

My Chemical Romance's new album, Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys comes out tomorrow!!

I wonder how many times I can type Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys before my fingers decide to quit.

Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys.  Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys.  Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys.  Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys.

I'm bored of this.

GUYS GUYS GUYS DANGER DAYS: THE TRUE LIVES OF THE FABULOUS KILLJOYS COMES OUT TOMORROW AAAAAHH!!

Yahoo! Answers

So I don't know if you guys know how Yahoo! Answers works.  Here's a quick rundown.

You type in the question you want to ask into the search bar and it brings up a list of other questions similar to yours that have been asked.  If those questions aren't quite what you're looking for you can compose your own question.  Once you do that, it looks at your question and gives you a list of categories that your question could be filed under.  It probably does this by looking at key words in your question and matching it up with key words in the categories.  For instance if you use words like "puppy" and "peeing" in your question, it might bring up the category "pets --> training".

My question was basically how do I get Eli to start acting more like a boyfriend without being pushy.

This is what came up:

 

 Law and Ethics?  How is—Law...and Ethics?  I...what?

Boyfriend Smell

In Science class last year, I learned something pretty interesting.

You know how, when a girl has a boyfriend, she'll take his sweatshirt and wear it so she can smell him?  From now on we'll refer to that smell as the smell of Boyfriend.  Boyfriend Smell.

Anyway, here's what I remember learning:

Five women each smelled five different shirts from five different men.  The women rated the attractiveness of the smell of each shirt.  I'm pretty sure the conclusion was that if the woman's immune system was different from the man's immune system, he would smell good to her.  The way I interpreted that is if I'm immune to viruses A, C, and E, and Eli is immune to viruses B, D, and F, he'll smell good to me.

Which is how I justified putting my head on his shoulder while he had a cold—I'm immune to what he's not, so I won't get sick.

So a girl is dating a boy.  She takes his sweatshirt because it smells good.  Now which came first?  Did she start liking him, and then notice that he smells good?  Hey, extra bonus!

I don't think so.  I think girls are turned on by certain guys' scents.  Just the facts.  (Also I found this) :

"Hands down, the women found the scent of a symmetrical man to be more attractive and desirable, especially if the woman was menstruating."  (They're talking about symmetry, not immune systems, but it's the same idea.)

On the same website, I found this:

"A 2002 study found women prefer the scent of men with genes somewhat similar to their own over the scent of nearly genetically identical or totally dissimilar men."

So like...I...

...am too tired to analyze that.  Boyfriend Smell.  It's hawt.

Things That I Realize I Took For Granted: Part IV

My ability to do things the right way, instead of pretty much okay.

See at the beginning of the year I was really good at budgeting my time and getting the things that needed to be done, done.  Lately though, I think I've been getting a little big-headed.  I look at what I have to do, then look at the ten minutes I have to do it in, and say "this will totally happen".

Sometimes those "things" won't happen.

Such as getting to rehearsal on time, instead of pretty much on time, give or take (mostly give) five minutes.  See, I have to be at rehearsal at 3:45, or earlier.  On Mondays and Wednesday's though I don't have any class after 11:15 am, and I can go home and then go back out for rehearsal.  It takes me about fifteen minutes to get there.  Usually I leave at about 3:20, or even 3:10, but the last three times I've been in that situation I've left at 3:30.  And gotten there at about 3:47.  Or 48.

Those "things" can also include getting to bed at 9 o' frikkin clock, not PRETTY MUCH 9 o' clock.  (And by that I mean 9:40, or 10.  Or 10:30.  Don't.  Judge.  Me.)

The biggest thing though, is making decisions.  I mean, I can make pretty good decisions most of the time, but sometimes they're a little dumb.

Dumb decisions I've made recently:

• Skipped lunch
     —Or rather:
• Drank two cups of coffee and an apple "for lunch".  (I can't decide which is worse; no lunch, or caffeine for lunch.
• Made a hat instead of doing homework
• Decided to go out with a boy who goes to a different school.
     —Let's talk about this one.  This is a guy I only get to see when we're rehearsing for Little Shop.  And the show ends December 5th.  That's 16 days from now, but today's mostly over, so really that's only 15 days.  And we don't have rehearsal every day from now till the show, so I don't even know how much longer I'm going to be seeing him, at least on regularly scheduled occasions.  But hey, he's a sweetie.  And he smells like Boyfriend!

Things That I Realize I Took For Granted: Part III

Clarity.

And by that I mean, people's ability to communicate with clarity.

So Eli and I are dating now.  Finally.  Here's how it happened.

Me: Want to go get hot chocolate?
Him: Uhh, sure.
Me: Okay

-we go-

-blah blah blah civil communications-

Me: Oh my GOD! Are you seriously this oblivious?
Him: Yeah, I know.
Me: Wait you...what?
Him: I mean, isn't this a date?
Me: ...Oh...I guess?
Him: Then aren't we dating?
Me: I wasn't...Are we?
Him: Like...yes?
Me: ...
Him: Would it make you feel better if I changed my relationship status on Facebook?
Me: -facepalm-

If you think that's hard to understand, try to imagine how hard it was for me to understand WHILE IT WAS HAPPENING.

Like, wut...

This is Bob...

 

 

This is Bob.  Bob says "hi"!  This is Bob when the car goes by...

Science, Sentimental Farewells, Snowboarding, and a Song

I kept waking up last night and then not being able to fall asleep.

I hate it when that happens.  Mostly I hate it now because my hamster is nocturnal and her wheel is really squeaky, so whenever I fall asleep I just hear "squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak" from the hamstard, and then sometimes she stops and runs over and crunches on her food, or chews on the bars (which is also really loud and annoying).

So sometime near 4:00 I woke up for the first time.

Digression: Whenever I wake up in the middle of the night, it's always at 4 first, unless I just wake up a little early, then it's like, 6 or 7.  But usually 4.

So when I woke up, I checked the time (hey, ten past 4, what a surprise) then laid awake trying to think of a way to fall back asleep.  Then hamstard went to work chewing on her bars like there was no tomorrow.  Which was ridiculous, because technically it already WAS tomorrow.  Dumbass.

At that point I conducted a scientific experiment (that I saw on Mythbusters).  I covered one eye with both of my hands, then stared at my lamp with the other eye.  When I shut the light off I could see perfectly fine out of the eye that had been covered, but the eye that was looking at the light couldn't see anything.  Also when I opened both eyes at the same time, the eye that had been exposed to the light felt like it had just been poked.

Uhh...  I don't want to talk about it.

So then somehow I fell asleep.  I woke up again at, like, 5, and my mom was saying bye to me (because she's going off on some long business trip of some sort).  I said bye, then fell asleep again.

At that point I had a dream.  It was really short.  I went snowboarding with Lily.  I know she was there, but I don't know if she was snowboarding or skiing or what.  The first time I went down a trail, I did fine.  The second time, I went down the entire thing on my butt (because I hadn't strapped my other foot in the board yet).  I was trying to stop, but I couldn't.  Somehow though, I could still steer.  A little.  I only figured out I could steer when I was dangerously close to dropping off the edge of a green circle into the mouth of a TRIPPLE BLACK DIAMOND!!  Or something.  So I was like "okay, I'll just steer away from the edge."  That plan worked well until it...stopped working.  I slid off the edge and down this icy wall of sheer ice.  Like, straight down.  At some point I guess I hit terminal velocity (you know these things in a dream) and it wasn't even that fast, because when I hit the ground I didn't break anything.  I just sort of kept sliding until I was in front of the lodge.  And one of the art teachers from my school was there.  He was like "what are you doing?" and I was like "I decided to try the Break Your Ass rout".  Somehow I lost a glove on the mountain, and I only discovered that it had been lost when I got home and noticed I was only wearing one glove.  But that's okay, because the other glove was really in the trunk of the car.

Then I guess I went back to the beginning of the dream, because I was at the snowboard rental place with Eli, and the guy was like "regular or goofy?" and I pushed Eli from behind and his left foot went forward so I said "goofy".  That's how snowboarding works.

Also at some point in the dream I found my iPod and put it in my left jeans pocket and was like "there, now I know where it is, and when I wake up I'll still have it!"  ...That's not how that works.  My iPod's still missing.  :(

The next time I woke up, it was like 7.  I had to pee, but I also wanted to just sleep.  It was light enough out that I knew if I got up and started moving around, it'd be harder to fall back asleep.  For a while I just willed myself to go back to sleep, but eventually I realized that wasn't going to work.  At that point, not only had I realized I would have to get up, and therefore have a harder time going back to sleep, but I had also wasted about a half hour of getting-back-to-sleep time.  So I got up and peed.

I think that's when I got the song stuck in my head.  It's a song by Pink (I'm pretty sure) that's on the radio now.  The only lines I know are "so raise your glass if you are wrong in all the right ways" and "won't you come on and, come on and raise your glass".  It's a song that I think I would like if I knew the words to it, but since I don't know the words, it's just kind of this song that's hanging out at the back of my mind, waiting for me to stop thinking long enough for it to move in and take over, halting productivity for a good 10-15 seconds.

Then I woke up at nine, and went downstairs and ate pancakes and drank coffee.  Omnomnom.

Czechoslovakian Cow Chocolate. Also, Alpine Milk? Yum!

So my dad brought me this milk chocolate from the Czech Republic.  (If you ever want to win my heart, buy me milk chocolate.  It's my favorite.)  Anyway, this chocolate is called "Happy Cows".  It came in a purple wrapper with a purple cow on it.  Also, in the lower left-hand corner, there's definitely an icon of the wrapper being unzipped.

Because that's how you open chocolate bars in the Czech Republic.

Also, cows are purple there.  Clearly.

Czech it out! (That's a pun, not a typo, you uncultured swine.)

So I was looking at this chocolate, trying to decide if I should be all giddy because now I have a whole entire bar of "Alpine Milk and White Chocolate" (is that two different things?  White Chocolate and Alpine Milk?) or completely weirded out because, WTF, "Happy Cows Alpine Milk and White Chocolate".  Also that zipper thing is really strange.

Then I flipped it over and thought "Geez, those Czechs are really dumb" because I found another icon.  This one is a detailed diagram—it's color coordinated—of how to open the package.  (Please take a moment to admire the alliteration in that sentence; it's beautiful.)

Ohh, that's how you do it...

That's my quizzical face.  Now that I've uploaded it, I realize it looks more frustrated than quizzical, so I took this one to show you my frustrated face:

I don't think my neck will ever be at that angle again.

Digression over.  Back to the Happy Cow Chocolate.  And the Alpine Milk.  (It's probably even better than Whole Milk!)

So after I got over how dumb the Czechs are, I opened the chocolate bar so that I could have a piece.  (Okay, I opened the chocolate bar wrapper.  You don't open chocolate bars.  You open doors, yes, and jars, and even a wound sometimes, but it's hard to open a chocolate bar.)  When I opened it (the wrapper, that is) I discovered the most amazing discovery that has ever been discovered.  Ever.

This is my "AW HOW CUTE; COW SPOTS" face.

IT HAS COW SPOTS ON IT!

Like, COW SPOTS!  I think it's adorable.

Also, my "AW HOW CUTE; COW SPOTS" face may kind of look like a "MY PUPPY JUST DIED" face.  I'll warrant that someone's "MY PUPPY JUST DIED" face may look like the face I'm making in that picture, however my "MY PUPPY JUST DIED" face looks a little more like this one:

Waaah, my puppy just died!

My puppy didn't really just die.  I'm just a really good actress.

Anyway YEAH, COW SPOTS!

Also guys, I changed my mind.  If you ever want to win my heart, regular milk chocolate won't do.  It has to be Czechoslovakian Cow Chocolate.

Czechoslovakian Cow Chocolate, or no deal.