Thursday, January 27, 2011

Lady Gaga Born This Way—Leaked Lyrics!!

About 20 minutes ago, Lady Gaga leaked the lyrics to Born This Way on Twitter! Here it is, just for you!

INTRO:
It doesn't matter if you love him, or capital H-I-M
Just put your paws up
'cause you were Born This Way, Baby

VERSE:
MY MAMA TOLD ME WHEN I WAS YOUNG
WE ARE ALL BORN SUPERSTARS

SHE ROLLED MY HAIR AND PUT MY LIPSTICK ON
IN THE GLASS OF HER BOUDOIR

"THERE'S NOTHIN WRONG WITH LOVIN WHO YOU ARE"
SHE SAID, "'CAUSE HE MADE YOU PERFECT, BABE"

"SO HOLD YOUR HEAD UP GIRL AND YOU'LL GO FAR,
LISTEN TO ME WHEN I SAY"


CHORUS:
I'M BEAUTIFUL IN MY WAY
'CAUSE GOD MAKES NO MISTAKES
I'M ON THE RIGHT TRACK BABY
I WAS BORN THIS WAY

DON'T HIDE YOURSELF IN REGRET
JUST LOVE YOURSELF AND YOU'RE SET
I'M ON THE RIGHT TRACK BABY
I WAS BORN THIS WAY

POST-CHORUS:
OOO THERE AIN'T NO OTHER WAY
BABY I WAS BORN THIS WAY
BABY I WAS BORN THIS WAY
OOO THERE AIN'T NO OTHER WAY
BABY I WAS BORN-
I'M ON THE RIGHT TRACK BABY
I WAS BORN THIS WAY

DON'T BE A DRAG -JUST BE A QUEEN
DON'T BE A DRAG -JUST BE A QUEEN
DON'T BE A DRAG -JUST BE A QUEEN
DON'T BE!

VERSE:
GIVE YOURSELF PRUDENCE
AND LOVE YOUR FRIENDS
SUBWAY KID, REJOICE YOUR TRUTH

IN THE RELIGION OF THE INSECURE
I MUST BE MYSELF, RESPECT MY YOUTH

A DIFFERENT LOVER IS NOT A SIN
BELIEVE CAPITAL H-I-M (HEY HEY HEY)
I LOVE MY LIFE I LOVE THIS RECORD AND
MI AMORE VOLE FE YAH (LOVE NEEDS FAITH)

REPEAT CHORUS + POST-CHORUS

BRIDGE:

DON'T BE A DRAG, JUST BE A QUEEN
WHETHER YOU'RE BROKE OR EVERGREEN
YOU'RE BLACK, WHITE, BEIGE, CHOLA DESCENT
YOU'RE LEBANESE, YOU'RE ORIENT
WHETHER LIFE'S DISABILITIES
LEFT YOU OUTCAST, BULLIED, OR TEASED
REJOICE AND LOVE YOURSELF TODAY
'CAUSE BABY YOU WERE BORN THIS WAY

NO MATTER GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BI,
LESBIAN, TRANSGENDERED LIFE
I'M ON THE RIGHT TRACK BABY
I WAS BORN TO SURVIVE
NO MATTER BLACK, WHITE OR BEIGE
CHOLA OR ORIENT MADE
I'M ON THE RIGHT TRACK BABY
I WAS BORN TO BE BRAVE

REPEAT CHORUS


OUTRO/REFRAIN:

I WAS BORN THIS WAY HEY!
I WAS BORN THIS WAY HEY!
I'M ON THE RIGHT TRACK BABY
I WAS BORN THIS WAY HEY!

I WAS BORN THIS WAY HEY!
I WAS BORN THIS WAY HEY!
I'M ON THE RIGHT TRACK BABY
I WAS BORN THIS WAY HEY!

This Post Started Out Being About My Anger, But Then It Turned Into Being About My Boyfriend

Sorry I haven't written in a while. I was delaying writing about Romeo and Juliet. I didn't want to write too soon for fear I would write something mean, so I waited for a bit before I cooled down. Then once I cooled down I waited a little longer just to make sure I was really cooled down.

I wasn't.

But guess what? I don't care anymore. This was the last role that I wanted—and the only role of the three that I actually thought I had a shot at. I don't care if I offend anyone. I don't care if I make some enemies. I'm mad.

I don't think I'm going to get over this. I had to hide my head in my lap today in rehearsal because I started crying. Nothing had happened to make me cry, other than I don't have the role.

I don't have anything else comprehensible to say about this. My mind is a confusing mess of anger and sadness. Right now, I want nothing more than to curl up in a ball and cease to exist. Just disappear. Discontinue to be.

Sounds pathetic, I know, but I've lost my motivation to do anything. The rest of my high school career will be filled with regrets. I will look back on this show and ask myself "why not?".

I'm starting to realize how bad this all sounds. I'm hoping my director never finds this, or that if he does he doesn't automatically assume it's me.

I JUST FEEL SO ROBBED!!

I have done every single show that we've done at my school. I acted in all of the shows except one, and I made a point of doing tech work for that one so that my director realized that I was committed to theater. Then he went and retired, and all my hard work was for naught.

But my great and wonderful boyfriend (who is great and wonderful) just recommended a band to me (I Fight Dragons) and I'm 57 seconds into "The Faster The Treadmill" and I can't feel angry anymore.

I love him. <3

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

I Don't Know If I've Titled A Post "ASDF" Yet—Plus Also Romeo and Juliet

I was going to title this post "ASDF", but then I realized I wasn't sure if I had already titled a post "ASDF" yet, so I didn't title it "ASDF", exactly.

I just got back from Romeo and Juliet callbacks. I was called for Benvolio, Paris, and Romeo.

Okay, so... I would NOT play Paris. I just...wouldn't be able to do it. I'd maybe be okay with doing Benvolio. I'm terrified that I'm going to be cast as Benvolio. I read the monologue, and decided that it would be a good idea to read the monologue with a cockney accent. Well apparently, so did everyone else. Quinn laughed, our assistant director laughed, and everyone in callbacks laughed... So I'm worried I did too well with that.

I also think I did really well with Romeo. I feel like I was the only one who was actually acting in love with Juliet. I don't mean obsessed, as some people were playing it. I mean In Love. Just in love.

So yeah, I'm worried.

Quinn said that the cast list will be up by 1:30 tomorrow. That's frustrating. That's right near the end of my second to last class of the day. I've got to suffer through Math, then Science, then lunch, then American Lit, and THEN I can get out of American Lit (1:45) and run downstairs and down the hall and check the cast list. And then I still have to go back upstairs to my last class of the day. Which is forum, which is like homeroom. And tomorrow is our MLK day assembly. That means we're going to an assembly during forum. And after that I have to take an ACT (well, MME, which is kind of like the ACT, only it's just for Michigan) prep test. Which is just ASDF. But if I don't do it tomorrow I have to do it two weeks from tomorrow, or two weeks from that. And by even two weeks from now, I'll be busier than I am now, at least. And AURGH, I'm just so busy and scared At The Same Time.

So that's...all I have to say about that. I'm bringing my computer in tomorrow, so as soon as I know what's happened, I'll try to blog. So yeah, that's...that.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Practice

You guys don't have to read this. I just want to make sure I've got this monologue memorized.

The lack of any kind of grammatical sense is completely on purpose, I assure you.

but soft what light through yonder window breaks
it is the east and juliet is the sun
arise fair sun and kill the envious moon
who is already sick and pale with grief
it is my lady oh it is my love
oh that she knew she were

she speaks but she says nothing what of that
her eye discourses i will answer it
i am too bold 'tis not to me she speaks
two of the fairest stars in all the heaven
having some business do entreat her eyes
to twinkle in their spheres 'till they return
what if her eyes were there they in her head
the brightness of her cheek would shame those stars
as daylight doth a lamp her eyes in heaven
would through the airy region stream so bright
that birds would sing and think it were not night
see how she leans her hand upon her cheek
oh that i were a glove upon her hand
that i might touch that cheek

Now it's time for the word vomit round!!!

but soft what light through yonder window breaks it is the east and juliet is the sun arise fair sun and kill the envious moon who is already sick and pale with grief it is my lady oh it is my love oh that she knew she were she speaks yet she says nothing what of that her eye discourses i will answer it i am too bold 'tis not to me she speaks two of the brightest stars in all the heaven having some business do entreat her eyes to twinkle in their spheres 'till they return what if her eyes were there they in her head the brightness of her cheek would shame those stars as daylight doth a lamp her eyes in heaven would through the airy region stream so bright that birds would sing and think it were not night see how she leans her cheek upon her hand oh that i were a glove upon that hand that i might touch that cheek.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Sorry It's Been So Long

Sorry it's been so long since I last did a post. Life has just been weird lately. I was in Pennsylvania and Massachusetts over break, and I got back at about five on Monday night. Then school happened and I didn't feel like I had time to do a post. Sorry.

So first a few updates:

1. I (along with two of my friends) started a vlog on youtube. Our channel is TheExDeSquad. You should check it out. I'm Ethan on the vlog, by the way. We all chose to use our male identities, since all three of us has one.

2. I cut and dyed my hair. The cut looks good, the dye looks baaaad. Like really bad. Well okay, no it doesn't. It's just not what I wanted at all, and I'm mad. My sister's friend, Maria, said that most hair salons will re-do it for free if you're disappointed with how it turned out, but I don't know how to ask them to do that. Maybe I'll call them, and maybe I'll bring my sister along for moral support when I actually go. More on that later, probably.

This blog has actually got two main topics, so I'll try to develop each of them thoroughly and individually of each other. Here we go!

Once, when I was a lot younger than I am now, my family went to see A Midsummer Night's Dream performed outside. At the end of the show I remember admitting to my sister that I had thought Puck was hot. She laughed and told me that Puck had been played by a girl. That invoked a lot of firsts in me. Two of them were simultaneous. I realized that a, anyone can be an actor, and b, I wanted to play Puck. The other first isn't important to this story, but I'll tell you anyway. Even though I didn't know it at the time, that was the first indication of my sexuality.

A few years later, I watched Pride and Prejudice (the version with Kiera Knightly). I had the most gigantic crush on Mr. Darcy. That crush was—and still is—the driving force behind my desire to play Elizabeth Bennett.

When I was a freshman, I played the lead male in a show we did, called Scapino. A few years earlier I had read a book called Leap Day. The main character in that book talks about her opinion that no actress can call herself an actress unless she has played Juliet. Somehow my mind combined my ability to play a lead male and "you're not an actress until you've played Juliet" and I ended up with the desire to play Romeo.

So by the end of my freshman year, I had a list of three roles that I dreamed of playing. In the order that the occurred to me, they are:

1. Puck — A Midsummer Night's Dream
2. Elizabeth Bennett — Pride and Prejudice
3. Romeo — Romeo and Juliet

The last show we did my freshman year was A Midsummer Night's Dream. I was so excited I could hardly contain it. I was probably the first person to grab the Puck monologue from the auditions table and I ran off to start working on it right away. By the time auditions came around I was sure I had it.

I don't even remember who my character was. I was one of the actors, the one who played the wall in their performance for the king. Our director gave Puck to a senior from a different school.

I was disappointed, to say the least, but eventually I got over it.

Exactly one year later, my sophomore year we did Pride and Prejudice. I brought Elizabeth's monologue home and worked on it with my dad for the three days until auditions. I gave it my all. We had to prepare two monologues, though, and the other one I had prepared was Lady Catherine. I performed Elizabeth first, then Lady Catherine. When I did the second one, my director told me how much he loved it. I knew I had lost then. I left the room and cried. I'm pretty sure I didn't stop crying until I fell asleep that night. The next day was callbacks day. I checked the callbacks sheet with, for some reason, hope. I wasn't even being considered for Elizabeth.

The only thing that made me feel any kind of hope that day was one boy whom I had never seen before. He was sitting next to me in the callbacks room. He had long, medium brown hair tied back behind his head, and a black shirt that said blowfish on it. I remember him telling me that it looked like it said dafword when you look at it in a mirror. He told me his name. Eli.

Somehow, that day, I feel in love with that boy whom I had never seen before. And somehow, that day, he fell in love with the Junior girl from a different school who ended up cast as Elizabeth. Somehow I wasn't consoled by the fact that she wouldn't even give him the time of day. All I knew was that the same girl had stolen both my second dream and the first boy I had been in love with since The Boyfriend without even lifting a finger.

That was probably the worst.

I haven't seen that girl since then. She was in a Midsummer Night's Dream, too. Since then we've gotten a new director, so she might not know about our shows, but I have a sinking superstition that she'll show up on Monday for auditions.

So there were two factors that played into my depression during that show; the role, and the boy. I should tell you, though, that one of those two factors has been resolved. And since I have not had another chance to audition for Pride and Prejudice, you'll just have to assume that "the boy" is what has been resolved.

So at this point, here's where my list stands.

1. Puck — Failed
2. Elizabeth Bennett — Failed
3. Romeo — n.a.

I'm 0 for 2.

Auditions for Romeo and Juliet are on Monday.

It's bragging time for me, because it will boost my morale.

Our director is planning on gender-bending the cast, but most of the girls are still going to try out for Juliet, so I won't have to compete with them. I know I'm a better actor than most of the guys, so I feel like I've got a pretty good chance.

I also feel like I've got no chance in Hell of landing a lead, because I was Audrey in Little Shop, the show we just did. I also only have half of the monologue memorized. I can't express how nervous I am. I'm literally dying inside. If I don't get this role, there is no God. Well, okay, there is.

There's also a Patron Saint of Acting (St. Eva Marie) and a Patron Saint of Actors (St. Genesius). Just sayin', you guys.

I've exhausted this topic, so now I'll move onto the next.

This one was going to be very angry and annoyed, but now that I've let my feelings stew a little, it's just mostly going to be sad.

I have a friend who just...picks fights. A lot. She's a really great person when she's not mad at you, but when she does get mad, it makes me feel like we'll never speak again. I don't like feeling like that, so I've been trying to figure out a way to get her to stop.

I know how to deal with her. If she's mad, just leave her alone for a few days, and eventually she'll get over it. It's worked every time in the past.

Dealing with her, however, is not the same as getting her to stop the behavior. Eventually she'll find something I did to offend her and get mad at me again.

Sometimes I like to pick songs that describe how I'm feeling, rather than try to explain how I'm feeling myself. The song I'm thinking of for this situation is called "Sassafras Roots", by Green Day.

The first part goes "All brawn and no brains, and all those nice things. Have you finally got what you want; someone to look good with, and light your cigarette? Is this what you really want? I've figured out what you're all about and I don't think I like what I've seen. So I hope I won't be there in the end if you come around."

The song is supposed to be about a boy who used to like a girl, but since she keeps running off with jerks, he's given up on her. To fit my purposes, the boyfriend that the girl keeps running off with is her propensity to pick fights. I don't want to say I hope I won't be there in the end if she comes around, but in fact, that is almost what I want. I can't decide if my desire to be her friend outweighs how unhappy she makes me when she's angry. More on that later, maybe.

For now, I've got to go learn my monologue and hope I do something that Quinn likes.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Borrowing a Tour Bus' Wifi

Right now I'm in a car in the middle of upstate New York.

And I have wifi.

How?

Well see, we were driving along, and I decided I wanted to open my computer and play around on it. As soon as I opened it the airport menu opened up and asked me if I wanted to join the Greyhound network. I glanced out my window and, sure enough, we were passing a Greyhound bus!

I told my dad to slow down so we could stay in its range. I was joking, of course, but he did.

Now I'm writing a blog and my mom's checking her email.

But we have to speed up now, because we have a deadline, so we're going to leave the bus's range shortly.

It's been fun!!