Wednesday, April 27, 2011

My Birthday, NOT the "Royal Wedding"

I thought I'd share with you a few of my most recent Twitter posts:

Guys, you do realize that the British royalty are the ones who made us Americans? Stop fangirling over the prince and his wedding.

Wait wait wait, Friday? Those losers are getting married on FRIDAY!? They're stealing my birthday!

Okay, fair warning, if anyone says "your birthday's on the same day as the Royal Wedding", I will slap you.

GOD DAMN IT, the wedding's on the same day as my birthday, not the other way around!

It was my birthday before it was your anniversary Willy, just you remember that.

AND IF ANYBODY sings the Friday song on my birthday, I will slap you SEVEN TIMES! One for each day of the week! Fair warning.

I can remember all the days in the week, even if Rebecca Black can't.

Why did those loser Brits have to steal my birthday... :(

But seriously Willy, congrats. God save the president.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

The Woes of Pantyhose

It is my opinion as of Sunday, April 23rd, 2011, that there are only two excuses for pantyhose. (Don't hold me to that in a few years; my opinions have been known to change. I used to firmly believe that there was never any excuse for leggings to be worn as pants, but I am now the proud owner of two pairs of "Jeggings", one of which I am wearing right now.)

Anyway, as of right now, I believe there are only two reasons to wear pantyhose. They are as follows:

1. Theater
I never wore pantyhose EVER before I started high school theater and it became a requirement for every girl to wear pantyhose. (Not sure why that is).

2. Church/Parties
I lump the two together because both usually require you to look good in someone else's house.

Other than those two instances, I can't think of any other example of me wearing pantyhose.

Let's go back to No. 1 for a moment. Theater. Seeing as I never wore pantyhose before I started theater, I never owned any. When I did my first show, my mom and I went out and bought two pairs of pantyhose. They were both ripped and unusable by the time the show ended, so when the next show came around I had to go out and buy two more pairs. This became a sort of tradition for me. When dress rehearsals came around, my mom and I went out and bought two pairs of pantyhose.

Somehow my two pairs from Little Shop came out relatively unscathed, and the same with my two pairs from Pride and Prejudice at the end of last year. I didn't need any for Romeo and Juliet since I was playing a boy, and we haven't gotten into dress rehearsals for Rhinoceros yet, so I haven't had to use them since Little Shop.

Now, on a stage one can usually get away with having one or two tears in a pair of pantyhose, but in church it's not quite so simple. People are closer, and they will JUDGE those tears. So you really need to have either a brand new pair, or a pair that you have kept in such good shape that they are immaculate anyway.

Well it's Easter today, which requires church-going.

My family doesn't go to church as often as we should. Maybe if we went more or less every week I'd have more good pairs of pantyhose.

But we don't.

And I don't.

Out of my four leftover pairs, none of them are immaculate.

I pulled them out of my drawer one at a time and examined each for holes. The first three had small tears on the legs which would be fine for the stage, but, again, not for church.

Finally, the last pair I pulled out looked pretty good, except for a bit of wear at the toes. But really no one was going to be looking at my toes.

But you're not just standing or walking around at church, as you would be at a party. At church you sit down, kneel down, sit up, stand up, sit, stand, sit, stand, kneel, sit, kneel, stand, etc. For over an hour.

Pantyhose aren't very strong. It's amazing how fast they can grow a rip. After an hour, the little tear that was at my toe at the beginning of church had grown all the way up to my knee by the end.

FFFFFFF!!

I have now retired yet another pair of pantyhose.

At least Jeggings don't tear.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

PIXIES

So last night Eli and I went to see the Pixies. Since obviously everyone knows who the Pixies are, I don't have to talk about how awesome the concert was. All I really have to say (other than "it was awesome") is that I got a shirt:


But you probably don't all know about Imaginary Cities. They're the band who opened for the Pixies last night, and they were REALLY awesome. They're also new—I think they said they were 8 months old—which is impressive.


I tried to hide a link in that image, but it didn't work, so I'm going to hide it in the word "here" instead. You'll never find it! It's such a good hiding job.

Anyway, you should check them out, because they are basically the most awesome ever. Yeah.